cont.
Friday, December 25, 2009
PART 3: It was the scene where jacob has now converted to some werewolf gang because you know, in a small town, just because you can turn into a werewolf doesn't mean you're in the werewolf group until you know the secret werewolf handshake, ner ner. Suddenly it starts pouring more heavily then ever and bella confronts jacob about something, probably about how long he’d been randomly walking around in the rain in the hopes she’d come and visit him or if he remembered if he took the umbrella from her ute... i can't remember, what i DO remember as my mind processed what my eyes were seeing, was first disgust (think hammichoochoo) proceeded by a burst of laughter at the realisation that Meyers or the director possibly both, just ripped off any given Korean drama, where there is some heart wrenching emotional scene and the main characters who cannot be together are thrashing it out, in the middle of a rain storm,except this time the korean drama is being acted out by non-asian people who are acting as werewolves and one terribly pretentious girl. I excitedly share this revelation loudly to my friends around me in the cinema, hoping the 12-14 year old group of girls behind me would quit jabbering about how cute Jacob looked in the rain.
It’s around here that we encounter a Psycho Crazy Vampire(PCV) who I thought was pretty cool and wished she had gotten more airtime (because she behaved like how a vampire should!) she’s kinda angry because of something that happened in the first movie and wants to kill Bella, this of course was not factored into Edwards great plan of relocating, maybe vampires have terrible memories?. But I guess there’s some continuity from the start of the show where Edward throws Bella out of his protection, except now it’s on a larger scale, Edward obviously not knowing how vampires work especially vengeful vampires doesn’t think about the possibility that retribution will come from what occurred in the first movie, and jets off leaving Bella to fend for herself. Surely if revenge was a possibility you would have to assume that vengeance would be knocking on the doors of everyone who was involved with the incident that started the vengeful motives in the first place? Therefore there are at least TWO much better options to pursue
1) Take the initiative and eliminate the threat first, go hunt PCV, go to the werewolf clan and say hey man, the woman we are fighting over for the next 2 movies is in mortal danger and we are the only ones with the ability to stop her from possibly being killed, what say you get your boys and i’ll get my boys and we’ll take PCV down first then resume our petty ways? (which would have made an infinitely better twilight to watch; werewolves and vampires band together to hunt and kill another vampire....that…would….hav
2) But if #1 doesn’t cross your mind then surely staying together, even if it’s staying together overseas away from your other murderous family members - especially if only one of you has the power to defeat said threat - would be the next smartest option.
But no, the only way to drive the plot, ahem, i mean show how much Edward loves bella is for him to leave her...exposed, vulnerable and clinically depressed, what?!!....And if that didn’t make sense enough, then we see Edwards sister get a vision of Bella jumping into a river from a great height. She tells Edward this and he calls the house to not ask about ‘where is Bella?’, or ‘How is Bella doing?’, but instead he asks ‘where’s Bella’s father?, allowing Jacob to ambiguously say something about ‘preparing for a funeral’ (for someone else that PCV killed), and why would Jacob answer Bella’s house phone even though Bella was standing right there too?....shrug….. Edward then jumps to the wrong conclusion and assumes Bella is dead and therefore decides he can’t live anymore and wants to kill himself. 109 years old and he’s learnt nothing about assuming, or checking to REALLY make sure, before committing to an act that cannot be reversed?!, read: leaving the love of his life vulnerable to murder, killing himself because the love of his life’s father is preparing for a funeral. It’s infuriatingly stupid.
This is not an action movie where you can forgo certain things that are bit crazy or don’t make sense, such as Die hard 4.0 where John Mclain takes out a helicopter with a car (even he had a motive…he was out of bullets!) I mean that was crazy but it was so awesome because it’s an action movie. This is a romance movie involving humans therefore one should and can expect proper logical motives to propel the story forward. But they’re vampires and werewolves you say? Which folklore depicts werewolves and vampires as gentle, kind sissyboys or even retarded? NONE, therefore this is still basically a romance story. No I don’t hate non-action movies, I really enjoyed Love Actually and Music & Lyrics those were great movies and really fun and enjoyable to watch, but New Moon had just been a string of scenes that Meyers thought were cool and strung them together in a haphazard way that wouldn’t hold up to a basic working knowledge of motive and intentions.
At this stage of the movie I decide it’s a complete write off. It ends in a manner that is forgettable and me concluding ‘Why are so many people digging this movie and not more people thinking this movie is atrocious and stupidly manipulative?!?’
Ladies, if you like twilight because you adore Edward Cullen and wished that he loved you, don’t, your days with an Edwardic like man would just be endless hours of frustration, and yelling lines like ‘Why did you do that for?!?!?!” as you climbed the tree in your backyard to get the laundry down because Edward thinks it’s better to hang the clothes up high just incase a flash flood occurs, raise the bar a little, look for a guy with at least an IQ of 100, where he has the capability for simple rational thought.
Unless you want to be like Bella, in which case i say double don’t with a gajillion cherry’s on top, and if you still do after reading this, we can’t be friends anymore, please remove me from facebook and my phone number from your contact list.
She is a pretentious, self absorbed, horrible person and terrible friend. Just because she doesn’t swear, is constantly emo, and is portrayed in a victimised way that would garner your sympathy, think about a few of these observations first,
When Edward leaves she goes into a catatonic state, which obviously saddens her father for MONTHS, but she doesn’t care, the father from what i saw was nothing but patient, kind and supportive of her. After which he lovingly tells her something needs to be done - snap out of it. So Bella lies and says she’s going out with her friend. She then proceeds to call one of her friends up at the last minute and they head out. The next scene we see is them walking out of a movie and her friend is being cheery and Bella is just being mopy and not even ATTEMPTING TO acknowledge or engage her friend that came out as a favour for HER.
They then get wolf whistled at by unsavoury characters that offer them rides on their bikes. Bella being the bright girl she is, decides, not to heed the advice of her friend and jumps onto the bike with some unknown guy with perverted intentions leaving her friend behind to worry about her, for what? Because she concludes that getting herself in dangerous situations will allow a misty Edward to appear and therefore since she wants to see more of Edward, she’ll put herself in dangerous situations. That’s right folks, there must be a scene on the editing floor that didn’t make it into the final cut where Bella undergoes serious head trauma to the point where for her mind to conjure up an image of her loved one she needs an external stimulus. Now excuse me while i do some jumping jacks to remember what my wife looks like. Ok good, i remember now. Curiously for some reason though the perverted man brings Bella safely back to her friend. Must be the nicest sexually deviant guy going around.
So like the name's Sarah; 31071995.
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